Wednesday, May 28, 2008

My Family

This is a photo of my family. I will aways cherish........till I die

AM I going crazy??

A Poem by me called Frozen Snow
Drugs are bad, mmm-kay
Is what all the people say,
And I must agree with them at least
Due to my hangover today.
But quite a few of my aquaintances,
Seemed to never sleep,
I wondered why and had no clue
Until I found out this week.
They gather in the lounge,
And sit around a pipe
And smoke this ... called meth
I think some may call it ice.
This ... is completly crazy,
They feed their dealers greed,
And in their paranoid confusion,
They scratch until they bleed.
Their faces are so stunning,
The most gorgeous girls you'll ever see,
But ice has warped their perception,
And they've lost reality.
They live their lives in fear of exposion,
But its not a secret, if only they knew,
With the paranoid behaviour
Its obvious what they do.
Their intelligence will be ruined,
If they could see inside their heads,
They would see the internal damage,
And this erosion will surely spread.
Please see what you are doing,
Forget about your pride,
From this chemical concoction,
Do you realise how many have died?
I know its an epidemic,
I realise its a common thing,
I understand even lawyers smoke this stuff,
Anything to stop them from sleeping.
Just don't let your lives be taken,
Don't let the dealers win,
Fight the addictive urges,
Try confront it from within.
I really hope this is just a faze,
For their own sake alone,
Before they lose their brains, money and looks,
Dont let the wind turn into a cyclone.

BY:Rachel May

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Snipers in action (Taken from the movie BLACK HALK DOWN)

Me In Streets and acting disorderly

This is another video of me behaving disorderly and smocking........???

Shit I nearly got smash! By a vehicle as I was too intoxicated .

P/S There is so many 'Weed' like substance you can buy and this is a good example !

Saturday, May 17, 2008


The picture of the mixture I got from a doctor.
This is a bottle of mixture meant for dry cough . I bought it from a place I shall not name for abuse prevention. It contains it contains a combination of Codeine Phosphate , Promethazine and ephedrine . Codeine as one know is a syntactic Opiate base chemical. When Codeine is consume the brain will than metabolize part of it into Morphine. When C.N.S Stimulants are taken or mix with Codeine like Ephedrine (A base of Amphetamine) It Stimulates the (C.N.S ) Central nervures system or Brain to work harder to metabolize more of the Codeine that were consume into Morphine ! That will in turn take a toll to the brain causing brain damage. Anyway I myself is struggling with this cocktail thing. In the long run when this is taken one will have psychotic symptoms like hearing voices , paranoia ect…..If I am not wrong PHENSEDYL is ban in Bangladesh. Please read it at

the back of the bottle

A video of me drinking the “mixture”

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A lazy afternoon

I was out today alone because all my friends were working. so I decided to go shopping myself.It was boring though but I still enjoyed it. In the end I ended up playing games at the game arcaded . Want a shameful day it was.

A short video aboult me

Made a mistake it was not US $60 to 70 Dollars but SGD$40 to 50 dollars .Sorry for that mistake.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Waiting for my "Wife"

I am typing this wile I am waiting for my turn to see the doctor. I really need XANAX because it helps me in my depressive episodes that I have when things go wrong. I have to admit that I am a very venerable person that takes things to heart. It has been 15 mins already and I am waiting for my benzodiazepines . I know addiction is a mental illness.....well(thats what the Doctor says) and I had to be put on anti-depressive medication . I feel there is still a stigma in Asian country and where mental illness is being neglected.
I really hope it's my turn to see the doctor now

PS:/More pictures of my `collection" comming up!

Monday, May 12, 2008

The memory's of Pho Huai Bin

I really feel that he is a great blogger but sad to say he has stop blogging.You can still find his post at (wayback Machine) But sad to say this is what Drugs can do to a person.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I am out from a mental hospital !

This is a picture of me ,Obviously. I just can out from IMH because I overdosed myself with benzodiazepines and Codeine.My dad took me there without me even realising it !! Anyway the doctor said I have a problem with substance dependency and ask me to stay.All in all I promise myself that I will never step into that place again. I feel say because my parents has not been allowing me to mix around with friends for these few years.(my mom aways talks aboult tough love )They think all my friends are also a junk. Fuck .
I aways mask myself with a cheerful look as you can see but deep inside I am crying.
P/S:Sorry for the poor picture cuz it was taken with a cheap cell phone.and the spelling mistakes cause by the withdrawal.