Thursday, May 31, 2007

Pay Back TIME!!!!!!!

This is Vyling an anti-diarrhea medication my Dad purchase for me. Just for your info I am having a very rough time with my benzo and opiates dependence. I have decided to stop my ritualistic behaviors of consuming up to 200 Lomotil tablets with 5 bottles of Codeine lace Cough mixture daily. (I mean at the most)

The Contains in the medcation

The indication part says it all. I have or yet to fall into almost all the categories I will be suffering from when the drug wends off . It states that I have to brake and dissolve the pills in such a big amount! I a have yet to try it out.............

It comes in SGD$2 dollars per bottle.

The size of the pills.

P/S: I may do a review on this medication.


Am I alone ?

I get a funny feeling,

it comes from deep inside.

I get all mad and angry,wanting to go and hide.

My doctor calls it depression,

my dad says it's just me.

But the thoughts and feelings,

no one will ever be able to see.

Some say I'm psycho,

some say I'm just weird.

It's like I'm a different person,

and the old me just disappeared.

I get really edgy,

I want to commit suicide real bad.

Then I get a headache,followed by feeling sad.

I wish I could get help,

I wish it would go away.

Maybe if I keep praying real hard,

it will some day.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


Alprazolam is a short-acting drug in the benzodiazepine class used to treat anxiety disorders and as an adjunctive treatment for depression. For your info Alprazolam was invented by Upjohn (now a part of Pfizer) and is marketed under various trade names. (Info: The definition for trade name can be explain by clicking here)

To simplify things Zanax is the brand name given by the founders of this medication and Alprazolam is the chemical or generic.(I may be wrong)

Chemical Structure of Aprazolam

An example of my pills I Scripted from Aotex pharmaceutics.
AS for me I am prescribed “Non Branded Generic zanax” Ones, from my Doctor with an APO imprinted on each tablets. (Click here to access to their website.)
Anyway I feel that the ‘Non Branded’ ones be it APO or the others have a different Onset or even half-life to the original makers! I really feel that they should impost an ISO1900 standard thing. I know it sounds Silly, but there is a difference when you obtain pills made from different Pharmaceutical Companies.
P/s:I am Sorry I gave one of my readers my wrong E-Mail Address It Should Be I apologize for my typing error. Sorry.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

The price to pay

I know it is kind of sick to show this picture over and over again. But I cherish that moment when I was sober for a month. I look presentable and cheerful. Drugs has made a big impact in me in terms of personality, physically and the way I present myself. Drugs have indeed taken a toll in me. Especially in my appearance.

This is a picture of me when I relapsed to my drug binging habit after two months. (my eye ball is out of focus)Just like lazy eyes.If you look carefully.

And then it got worst. (Affected me mentally, as you guys can see.)No cloths on when taking a picture of myself.

And getting semi psychotic (who wears shads at home)

And this is my latest look now. Get the picture???
And yes I got to admit I am Fat!!!!!(but not as bad as before:)

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

My sister’s photo

Reflection project

This is a photo I took in my home with a simple point and shoot camera. It portrays the pictures of my sister and a reflection of me(if you look hard enough, you can see me in the back ground.)
I keep on telling myself. I can't lose up to my sisters.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

It's Labor Day

Yes it's a day where I can take a rest !!

I got myself A new hard disk casing for my 2.5" portable hard Disk.It cost me just SGD$6.00

Was planning to go to the game arcade but it was packed with too many people.Anyway I went for a good meal in China Town Singapore with my Dad.